Black and Rage
by clairenbearen
Summary: I suck at summaries and I actually don't have a title on point. Rated T for thematic material and language.
1. Blood Red

"Vicki, where's Ryan?" Judd called down the stairs.

"I don't know, his room?" came the reply.

"I checked already. Is he down there with you?"

Vicki sighed heavily and got up from the couch to show Judd that Ryan was probably in the bathroom. She walked to the kitchen to get a little snack (nothing Judd made; even Phoenix didn't eat that stuff). A note was pinned to the refrigerator.

 _Vicki, Judd, I'm sorry, but I can't stay here. Lionel and I argue too much. Vicki is the only one who really cares about me at all, and even so, she doesn't understand me. Judd is too busy for me. I took some food, and I'm not coming back. Love, Ryan "Cermak" Daley._

"Judd!" Vicki screamed, close to tears.

"What?! Vick, are you hurt?" Vicki heard the sound of Judd's feet pounding down the stairs. He burst into the kitchen. "What's wrong?" He saw the paper and looked from Vicki's hands to the tears staining her cheeks and back to her now shaking hands. "Give me that," he said, voice soft.

He read the note, slapped the note on his knee, and swore. He looked at her, tears jumping to his eyes. His voice took on an accusatory tone as he said, "This is your fault!"

"My fault?! How is it my fault?! I was the only one who ever made time for him!" Vicki shot back. "He _ran away_ because of you! You were too busy for him. He barely ever saw you!"

"He didn't ask me to be around. I had homework –"

"So did I!"

"Yeah, but who was the one who ended up salutatorian?" Judd's voice was tight and he clenched his jaw.

"Well, Mr. High-and-Mighty, I haven't graduated yet."

Judd laughed bitterly. "He probably started planning this stunt after the Secret Santa."

"And you're assuming because of a slight mistake, he decided to run away?" Vicki laughed a bitter, cruel laugh. "And you had nothing to do with it?"

"I never said that."

Vicki stopped to breathe. Judd's forest green eyes flamed with an anger – and anger at himself, she knew, because Ryan had run away because of him. And an anger at her for pointing it.

She closed her eyes and counted to eight. When she opened her eyes and then her mouth to speak, her voice was dangerously quiet. "Well, Junior, I hate to break it to you, but the world doesn't revolve around you."

Judd swallowed and closed his eyes. His words came out slowly and terse. "What did you just call me?"

"You heard me." She crossed her arms. "Junior."

Judd opened his mouth to speak, closed it, opened it again, thought the better of it, and walked away.

Vicki needed to release the full string of anger. "It's your fault that he and us almost died! And it is _your_ fault that Bruce is dead!"

Judd's hand clenched on the doorframe. When he shouted at her, she jumped back. "How the heck is it my fault?"

Vicki screamed back, with tears streaking her cheeks, "Because you had to be so _selfish_ and make him go to Israel with you!"

Vicki felt the sting of being backhanded. She looked at Judd in fear. She wanted to cry, she did, but she was so shocked that she couldn't.

Judd's face was red. "If you're looking for someone to blame for Bruce's death, blame God! I don't control life and death and other people's decisions –" he lifted his hand to hit her again " – I only control –" he paused, looking at his hand. " – my own actions."

Vicki shrunk away from Judd and backed against the wall.

Judd was still staring at his hand. He tore his gaze away from his hand that destroyed a relationship and looked to Vicki. And when he saw her fear, he broke down. She hadn't been hit for three or four years, and now he had broken that streak. He carefully stepped towards her.

"Vick, I'm so sorry." As he said those words, he realized sorry didn't compensate for anything. He had literally just physically abused his best friend. He took another step in Vicki's direction.

Vicki turned her face and braced herself for another blow.

"Vick…" Vicki had never heard Judd's voice so soft.

She looked up, her eyes red, and said, "Don't call me Vick."

Judd held up his hands as if in a surrender. "Vicki. Vicki, trust me, I won't hurt you again."

Vicki shook her head slowly.

Judd let his hands fall to his sides. His chin trembled, he couldn't speak, and he knew Vicki was leaving. Judd pressed his lips together and motioned to the door.

Vicki took off and left him.

A few years later, Vicki had to trust Judd's promise.


	2. Thick Black

Black surrounded her. Her breaths came quickly, not giving her enough air. Stolen tennis shoes repeatedly slapped against the road. She looked behind her, seeing her enemies gaining on her.

Black. She was sick of the color. Black symbolized death and destruction and hell and hopelessness. She was familiar with all four.

No wonder she was sick of the color.

Three years on the run. Minutes since her loved ones had been brutally murdered.

She didn't need light to know that each house she passed contained some sort of streak of black. Everyone had lost someone in the past seven years. Everyone had experienced hell.

All of them were hopeless.

Vicki tried to control her breathing. She couldn't be found. There was just one more year until the Glorious Appearing; she had to make it.

She heard someone running in her direction. She strained her eyes in the blackness, trying to make out who it was.

Dark hair, tall. He turned his head, and Vicki tried not to gasp. She'd recognize that face anywhere.

 _Judd_.

She'd left him three years ago. And now that there was a possibility that she could face him again…

She wanted to turn and run back into the Global Community's death trap.

Two barks came behind her, and she winced, in part due to being found and in part due to the pain she felt.

Faster, always faster. Ragged breaths coming quickly. Searching in the blackness for any woodland traps. Watching the ominous black trees, as if they were signs for something terrible to come. Straining for any indication to how far ahead she was and where she was running to.

Judd turned and crashed into her, the two hitting the ground. She scrambled up, trying to run from him, but he grabbed her in his arms and turned her north. Putting his mouth by her ear, he said, "This way."

He ran behind her, a hand behind her back as if to gently push her forward.

She didn't expect him to recognize her. She had dyed her hair blonde after the incident. Vicki shook her head, trying to get the image out of her mind.

Faster, always faster.

Faster, always faster. Faster,always faster. Faster, .

There was a river.

She was running towards a rushing river.

She strained her eyes, looking for a bridge for her to cross, but she felt Judd's hand grip her bicep and pull her in another direction.

"There's a bridge up a little ways."

He didn't even sound tired, despite their fast running.

Typical.

Judd looked behind him as he motioned Vicki forward. "Shit," he said under his breath.

Also typical.

"They have dogs."

Though Vicki knew this, she finally felt the weight of it. There were dogs. They could sniff them out. Judd and Vicki had a good chance of dying.

Fantastic.

Vicki carefully and quickly moved across the rickety steps, her hands hovering just above the ropes on the sides. Judd followed closely behind her.

One misstep could kill her. That's all it would take.

That's all it took.

A gun fired into the air, and out of fear, Vicki placed her foot on the most unstable step. The wood snapped, and she felt herself weightless. She shut her eyes, imagining herself plunging into the freezing rapids of the river, and she screamed, long and loud and clear.

A hand held tightly to her wrist. "Goddammit, Vick, why did you have to scream?"

He recognized her.

"Just let me go!" she screamed. _I don't want them to kill you_ , she thought. Of course, she'd never say it.

"Like hell." He stretched out his right hand. "Give me your hand!" he shouted above the roar of the water.

Vicki shook her head. No. She didn't trust his hands. She didn't trust him.

Judd, still holding Vicki's wrist, looked behind him and swore again. "Vick, you gotta listen to me, you have to trust me."

He saw her shake her head.

"Vicki," he said, trying to hold her up for another second, "you need to trust me."

She shook her head again.

"Goddammit, Vicki, this isn't a choice you have! If you don't trust me, you're going to die! I'm never going to hurt you again, I swear it on my grave!"

He knew. He knew why she wasn't offering him her other arm.

And that was what made her finally trust him.

She lifted her hand as high as she could, and she felt Judd's strong hand wrap around it and lift her up, pulling her in his direction. He held her close to himself.

She would never admit it, but that was the place she felt safest.

Head resting against his (really muscular) chest, his arms wrapped around her, rubbing her arms, trying to get warmth back into her body.

He pulled back, smirking. The smirk that made Vicki's knees go weak. "Told you," he said.

They should have been running.

It took one bark, that's all it took for Judd to spin on his heel, shielding Vicki from harm.

One bark was all it took for the officers to cock their guns.

One bark was all it took for the lead officer to take aim and fire.

One bark was all it took for the bullet to rip through Judd's head.

One bark was all it took to return Vicki's world to blackness.

She always hated the color black.


End file.
